Board: STAR TREK BB
Topic: TV: VOYAGER
Subject: RED ALERT!
To: ALL
From: WIN EMMONS (PKDD21C)
Time: 06/01 12:08 AM

Does anyone else notice whenever they have a "RED ALERT!" (about 4
times an episode) that the lights go really dim?? I mean, what's the
point of dimming the lights in an emergency situation?????

JANEWAY: Red Alert!
PARIS: Hey! I can't see the controls!
JANEWAY: Mr. Kim, where are you??
KIM: Over here, ma'am! I can't see my controls either! We need some
lights!
JANEWAY: No! Starfleet rule number 543A states that "lights must be
dimmed during an Emergency, or Red Alert, situation! Oh, and it's not
crunch time, Mr. Kim. I'll tell you when.
TORRES: Torres to Janeway. We need lights down here! All we can see is
the warp core!
CHAKOTAY: Captain, I would STRONGLY suggest ignoring Starfleet protocol,
since we're kinda not going to get into trouble over it out here, and
turn on the lights anyway!
HENLEY: Well, the lights are down, so I'm gonna put on my festive
headband!!! NYAH-NYAH!!!!!
GERUN: Earring time!
NEELIX: Captain, may I make a....OOOF!!! <crash>
TORRES: Captain, Neelix just ran into a wall. Let's get the cheeseball
to sickbay.
TUVOK: Crewmen Henley and Gerun.....
DALBY: HEY!!!!! LEAVE GERUN ALONE!!!!
PARIS: CAPTAIN, we are recieving a transmission from 3 Kazon vessels
approaching dead ahead. But I can't respond because I can't see the
controls!
JANEWAY: Oh, all right. Cancel Red Alert.
<lights come on>
KIM: Where are Chakotay and Kes? They were here just a minute ago!
JANEWAY: Computer, locate Commander Chakotay and Kes.
COMPUTER: Chakotay and Kes are in Kes's quarters. HUBBA-HUBBA!!!
JANEWAY: Computer, shut up.
COMPUTER: OK.
DOCTOR: Captain, when Neelix ran into that wall, he lost his 3 remaining
brain cells. He is officially, "a vegetable."
JANEWAY: YES!!!! NO MORE NEELIX!
KIM: YES!!! NO MORE NEELIX!!!
PARIS: YES!! NO MORE NEELIX!!!
COMPUTER: YES! NO MORE NEELIX!!!
TUVOK: YES! NO MORE NEELIX!!!
HENLEY, CHEL, DALBY, GERUN: YES!! NO MORE NEELIX!!!
CHAKOTAY: YES...........OH YES....
KES: YES....OH YES MORE.....
PARIS: Captain, Kazons are firing proton torpedoes...
JANEWAY: Evasive action! Our shields are inoperative because of another
cheese virus!
TUVOK: Torpedos 2 seconds to im........
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM

That was fun!! Win

PRODIGY(R) interactive personal service - Date: 07/05 Time: 10:51 AM